DEATH BY FAME AND FORTUNE

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In recent years, the lengths to which individuals will go on social media to achieve fame and validation, and the consequent material gains, have blown out of all proportion and reached alarming extremes. A shocking 2022 study by Jean Twenge and Jonathan Haidt found that there is a very strong association between heavy social media use and a decline in mental health in teenagers, comparing its impact to that of binge drinking and even drug use.

The study proves what we already know: there is a significant psychological impact on young people who pursue online validation. It has destroyed countless lives, and the impact on the younger generation is no different from the well-documented ill effects of hard drug addiction.

A particularly tragic example happened just this week. Aanvi Kamdar, a 27-year-old Mumbai-based chartered accountant, devoted all of her spare time to being a social media travel influencer, obsessively documenting her travel adventures on Instagram.

On Tuesday, Kamdar died after falling into a gorge while shooting an Instagram reel. She had gone for an outing with a group of friends to the famous Kumbhe waterfall in Maharashtra’s Raigad district in India. Tragically, while shooting a video intended to startle her viewers, Kamdar slipped and fell into the 300-foot ravine. Despite the efforts of local authorities and rescue teams, Kamdar succumbed to her injuries in the hospital after a six-hour rescue operation.

Another sad example of social media causing the demise of attention seekers is the story of Monalisa Perez and Pedro Ruiz III, a young couple from Minnesota. The couple were aspiring YouTubers who sought to amass followers by performing increasingly risky stunts – and with followers comes fame, and money.

In June 2017, in their riskiest bid for attention to date, they attempted a perilous stunt in which Monalisa shot Pedro with a gun while he held a thick book against his chest, in the belief that the book would stop the bullet. Tragically, the stunt failed, and Pedro died.

The incident, which was live-streamed, underlined the extreme risks people are willing to take for social media fame and for the material gains that follow. Perez, who was pregnant with their second child when she killed Pedro, was charged with second-degree manslaughter and served time in prison.

Then there is the case of Wu Yongning, a Chinese daredevil known for his extreme stunts performed at great heights. Wu gained a substantial following on social media by posting videos of himself performing dangerous stunts without any safety equipment.

In November 2017, Wu attempted to perform a stunt on top of a 62-story skyscraper in Changsha, China. Sadly, he lost his grip and fell to his death. What is so heartbreaking is that it was Wu’s desperation for social media fame and the validation that came with it that led him to take increasingly perilous risks, which ultimately resulted in his demise.

This modern-day obsession with validation and recognition finds a striking parallel in the ancient story of Bilam in Parshat Balak. Bilam was a renowned and gifted gentile prophet, feted by all for his prophetic powers.

But Bilam’s thirst for fame and fortune was an Achilles heel that would prove to be his downfall. He was enlisted by Balak, the Moabite king, to curse the Israelites, a job for which Balak promised he would be paid handsomely. At first, Bilam was reluctant and refused the task. But the allure of royal recognition and untold wealth proved to be just too irresistible. Bilam ultimately agreed to participate in Balak’s reprehensible plan, despite being warned by God not to go ahead with it.

Rashi, the preeminent medieval commentator, provides a profound insight into Bilam’s character and the weakness that led him on a course of action that ultimately resulted in his death by the sword on the battlefield. He explains that Bilam’s desire for honor and material benefits clouded his judgment. Despite knowing the futility and danger of his mission – after all, he was a man of God who knew very well that following this path was a doom-ridden choice – Bilam’s yearning for external validation and boundless wealth led him to pursue it nonetheless.

This is no different from the struggles many face today with social media—the relentless pursuit of external validation and the money that follows leads people to compromise their values and even to endanger their well-being.

Rashi notes that the angel who appeared to Bilam with a drawn sword was actually an angel of mercy. The threatening appearance was intended to stop Bilam and save his life, highlighting the destructive path Bilam was on because of his quest for honor and money. Rashi comments, “The angel was sent to prevent Bilam from sinning and to save him from his own destructive desires.”

The Talmud in Sanhedrin elaborates on Bilam’s character, describing him as someone with immense potential but whose moral weakness led him to misuse his gifts. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch provides further insight into Bilam’s actions: “Bilam’s journey was not merely a physical one but a reflection of his internal conflict, torn between divine will and human vanity. But true worth and honor always come from within, from living a life aligned with divine values and principles, not from the external accolades and approval of society.”

Rabbi Naftali Zvi Yehuda Berlin, in his commentary Haamek Davar, suggests that Bilam’s failure to curse the Israelites and his subsequent blessings were not just acts of divine intervention but also a revelation of Bilam’s true potential when he aligned with God’s will: “Bilam’s blessings were a reflection of what he could achieve when he transcended his personal desires and aligned himself with the divine mission.”

This insight is an indictment to so many who allow their best side to be eclipsed by their darkest desires! Imagine how well they could do if they “transcended their personal desires and aligned themselves with their divine mission.”

Our modern struggles with social media have brought this human weakness into sharp focus. Just as Bilam’s quest for validation led him astray, so too does the obsession with social media recognition lead so many people away from their true selves, and the best version of themselves. The Torah way is to seek validation from within and from our connection with the divine, rather than from the fleeting and often superficial approval of others – even if that approval comes with a payday.

Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, in his seminal work Lonely Man of Faith, speaks to this dichotomy between the pursuit of external achievements and the quest for internal fulfillment. He writes: “Man’s dignity lies in his ability to recognize the divine image within himself, not in the accolades he receives from others.”

However difficult it may be, we must work as hard as we can to highlight the dangers of social media. While it may have the potential to connect and inspire, social media also carries the risk of causing irreparable harm to those who use it if they become too reliant on it for validation.

The story of Bilam reminds us of the importance of seeking internal validation and staying true to our values. Just as Bilam ultimately blessed the Israelites, we too can find blessings in our lives when we focus on genuine connections and self-worth, rather than on the elusive approval of the digital world.